When you label your partner instead of their behaviour, that’s criticism.
If you do it from a position of superiority, that’s contempt.
Both are damaging to the health of your relationship.
Instead, describe their specific behaviour and how it made you feel. And tell them what you need.
“I was upset when you were late and I didn’t hear from you. I need you to text me next time.”
Read more about the Four Horseman that can damage your relationships at www.gottman.com