If you are anything like me, the month of December brings with it an inordinate amount of organisational admin… My notes app is filled with gift ideas… I have reminders set about the upcoming Christmas Jumper Day… My camera roll is filled with screenshots of potential recipes for the cheesecake I eagerly agreed to make back in September… The group chats are filled with discussions about Christmas Parties and sequin skirts… I even find myself making a ‘Christmas Classics’ playlist to listen to on my daily commute… There can be magic and joy in this ‘madness’, but it can also be a stressful time of high expectations and disappointment.
It’s a season often painted in warm lights, laughter, carols, perfect presents and cosy gatherings- yet for many, the contrast between that ideal and reality can feel especially sharp. Behind the sparkle, there can be loneliness, pressure, grief, tension, financial strain, or simply deep exhaustion.
One of the most difficult things is that the wider world tends to insist Christmas should be joyful, so if someone isn’t feeling that way, it can add a sense of guilt or shame. People may worry that admitting they’re struggling will dampen things for others, or that they’ll be seen as “too negative” for finding this time of year hard, but Christmas can stir up old wounds, bring fresh anxieties to the surface, and magnify what already feels heavy.
For some, it’s the first Christmas without a loved one. For others, it’s a time when family tensions simmer just below the surface, only to be brought into sharper focus when everyone’s gathered together. Financial pressures can weigh heavily too, with the cost of gifts, travel and social plans adding an extra layer of stress. Even those who enjoy the season may find that changes in routine, and the temporary pause of normal support systems, can leave them feeling off balance rather than rested.
Recognising that Christmas can be hard doesn’t mean dismissing its joys. It simply means allowing room for the full picture. We can hold both light and shadow in the same space. Instead of repeating “be kind to yourself” as a slogan, it might help to think about what that kindness could actually look like in practice. Here are a few gentle ideas:
- Acknowledge what’s difficult: Give yourself permission to name the parts of this season that feel heavy or painful. Writing them down or speaking them aloud can take away some of their power.
- Lower the bar: Let “good enough” be enough. Perhaps that means simplifying traditions, doing less, or saying no to things that feel like too much.
- Create small moments that ground you: A quiet walk, a favourite book, lighting a candle, listening to non-festive music, or cooking something comforting can all help you stay anchored.
- Pause for reflection: Halfway through the holidays, take a few minutes to check in with yourself. What’s been manageable? What’s not working? Adjusting as you go is perfectly fine.
- Use boundaries thoughtfully: Limiting social plans or stepping back from certain situations isn’t selfish — it’s self-awareness. Protecting your energy helps you stay steady.
- Reach out gently: Connection doesn’t have to mean big conversations. A quick message, a walk with a friend, or a chat online can remind you that you’re not alone.
- Have a plan for the wobbly moments: Whether it’s a grounding exercise, a playlist, a distraction, or someone you can contact, a small plan can make a big difference.
Christmas doesn’t have to be all joy or all sadness- most often, it’s a mixture of both. We don’t need to cover over the cracks with tinsel; sometimes it’s enough simply to acknowledge what’s real and allow it to be. In doing so, we might find a quieter, more authentic kind of peace among the noise and the lights.
