Nicola Macgregor
About Author
February 28, 2023

What happened to you?

Loved or Not 

Whether you, me, or any newborn baby are loved when born we all share one profound important trait. Regardless of the myriad of circumstance in which we are born into we all share an innate, longing and desire for Wholeness. We do not begin our lives bya sking ‘Am I enough’, ‘Am I worthy?’, ‘Am I deserving or lovable’.

Do I Matter?

Like yourself and every other child, when I came into the world, I did not have a burning question such as, “Do I matter?”. My world, their world, and your world was a place of wonder. With our tiny little breaths and with all our being, we began to make sense of our surroundings. Unconscious needs to be validated and feel significant prompt internal questions ‘who will nurture me?’, ‘who will love me?’. For so many of us life begins and takes it toll. We do not feel loved, we do not feel significant or validated by a gentle touch or look of affection. In these first encounters, our human experience can begin to diverge, paving the way for future experiences.

A Deep Longing

After absorbing these painful, and possibly repeated experiences the child can begin to ache. The longing to be needed, validated, and valued may set the standardf or what they think they deserve. Moving into adulthood life can become complicated, frustrating, self-sabotaging and may lead to violence, promiscuity, or addiction.

……The New Beginning

Through therapy and working to unearth the roots of beliefs, and behaviours that have developed before we are able to articulate what was happening to us, we can begin to unpack old experiences. Unlocking these experiences held in the brain enables us to learn and absorb new experiences while making sense of the world around us, and in our own unique setting.

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